SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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