Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize