I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have post one night stand depression
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
