I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
