I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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