maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
