...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
