i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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