No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize