1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I CAN MOONWALK!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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