Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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