so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
