I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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