I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize