Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
