bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So many bounce houses so little time
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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