Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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