do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
