I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have fence marks all over my body
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
