omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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