oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
