what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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