I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
