We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
