im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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