His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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