i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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