Can i not drive my cunt home
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
