she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
