fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
