her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
