I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
