wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
