.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
