To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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