at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
How's work?
Spinning.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
