Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
