I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
