I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
