Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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