what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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