If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
