i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
