You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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