Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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