new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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