I like to think it a success when the cops are called
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
