As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize