my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
