chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
