I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
