Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I touched a dick in church today
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
