oh god the rape fog is back!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
