he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I hate all girls vehemently.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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