Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I looked at my own cervix.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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