I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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