i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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