I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
