no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
