last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize