I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
