She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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