We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
