Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
