We won't sleep together?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
