so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize