Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
