He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize