I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
