I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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