hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize