I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
