I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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