Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
